09/05/2010 ~ Proper 18 ~ 23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time ~ Fifteenth Sunday after Pentecost ~ Jeremiah 18:1-11; Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18; Deuteronomy 30:15-20; Psalm 1; Philemon 1-21; Luke 14:25-33 ~ Communion Sunday.
Being Personal
“...you see, my friend, let me have this benefit from you in Christ! I want to make you useful to me in Christ! Refresh this heart of mine in Christ!” — Philemon 20
I have addressed this item here before but I want to revisit it for a moment. I am sure most people have at least heard about the social networking tool called Facebook.
Facebook allows people to post messages on a web site. Most of the time people write about what they are doing or where they are at in their lives or just make silly comments. Anyone who also has access to Facebook and has signed on to be your friend, a friend of the person posting information, can then look at what you wrote and, themselves, write things. In that sense, it’s a little like writing something on the wall of a building but, in this case, only your friends can see what you wrote.
Some people call this social networking. Others say it’s simply a way to efficiently spread gossip. Spreading gossip is not that new, however.
Facebook is, hence, merely a sophisticated version of the town square method of spreading gossip. In days of yore, one went to the town square to spread the word when something notorious happened. One now simply goes to a Facebook page— just as easy— easier.
Over time, this much has become clear to me: Facebook is not just about gossip. It gives people an opportunity to spread good news.
Ask Linda and Bob Oehme about this. Pictures of their first grandchild, Melodie (right back there) {the child was in the congregation}, were posted on Facebook within hours of her birth. This announcement of the birth probably saved at least dozens of phone calls. Indeed, word of the joyful family news spread among friends and family much faster than it would have just ten years ago. (Slight pause.)
Last Friday, Bonnie and I marked twenty-two years of marriage. We both wrote something on our individual Facebook walls noting that milestone. Suddenly, a number of people, dozens between the two posts, were commenting.
These were people who knew us before we were a couple and people who know us only since we are married, people who knew me in New York City, who knew Bonnie and the both is us in Brunswick, Maine and Bangor, Maine, people who now live as far away as Australia. They might not have known or remembered it was our anniversary if it had not been for Facebook. Still, their simple gestures offering congratulations left us feeling warm, loved, appreciated. (Slight pause.)
And these words of the Apostle Paul are found in the work known as Philemon: “...you see, my friend, let me have this benefit from you in Christ! I want to make you useful to me in Christ! Refresh this heart of mine in Christ!” (Slight pause.)
Many of you know this. Some don’t. So, briefly, let me say something about our individual ages when Bonnie and I got hitched. We met when I was thirty-nine and Bonnie was thirty-eight.
We got married a year later, so you can do that math and, having mentioned how many years we have been married, we would both really appreciate it if you did not do that math. (Someone calls out: “too late.”) Yes, too late. The piece which surprises some is, despite the fact that we got married late by any standard, it was the first marriage for both of us.
Having held out that long, I think it was harder for both of us to surrender being single than it would have been had we tied the knot in our early twenties. After all, we had both built independent lives for ourselves.
Still, I believe we got married not just because we saw in each other someone we loved and someone who loved us. We saw in each other someone who was willing to unconditionally accept the other. I am, frankly, still baffled it happened.
But let me put that term “unconditional acceptance” another way. We were both willing to put ourselves on the line for that other person. We were both willing to take a chance on that other person. (Slight pause.)
Now, the reality is we all put ourselves on the line, take a chance on other people, each and every day. We do so in big ways. We do so in small ways. Sometimes, when we put ourselves on the line, take a chance on another person, things turn out well. Sometimes things fall apart.
Sometimes when we put ourselves on the line, take a chance that person is a close relative and things turn out well and sometimes things still fall apart. The same is true when we put ourselves on the line for a friend or acquaintance. Things sometimes turn out well. Things sometimes fall apart. (Slight pause.)
My dad was a parochial school teacher. Once, a close personal friend of his, another teacher at the same school, needed cash. So my Dad co-signed a bank loan. Shortly thereafter, the friend was fired from that teaching position and my Dad was left holding the bag on the loan. He paid back every cent. Relationships are not easy. (Slight pause.)
Philemon is a very personal letter. But it is also profoundly theological. It says something about what Paul believes God has done and is doing for each of us and for all of us in Christ, Jesus. Because Onesimus is a brother in Christ to Paul and to Philemon, Paul now insists this one who has been seen as a slave by Philemon should be received and treated with unconditional acceptance, accepted as an equal before God, as a brother in Christ.
But perhaps more important than the specifics of the request Paul makes to Philemon— the letter never tells us about the results of the request, never tells us whether or not Onesimus remains enslaved— perhaps more important than the specifics of the request Paul makes to Philemon is that Paul puts himself, his own being, on the line. Paul takes a chance on Onesimus because Paul sees this other person as a child of God and this other person sees Paul as a child of God. (Slight pause.)
What makes theology come alive, what makes church come alive, you see, is not that it’s about God. What makes theology come alive, what makes church come alive, is not the quality of the services or the charisma of the preacher.
What makes theology and church live are relationships— deep, involved, risk taking relationships. Theology, church is about our relationship with God and it is about our relationships with each other. Being risk averse when it comes to relationships— being risk averse when it comes to relationships— means not honor that unconditional acceptance we often call ‘love.’ And, yes, you can say love is about unconditional acceptance. And, therefore, it is also about taking a risk.
Indeed, what Christian love is really about is putting ourselves on the line for another person— putting ourselves on the line for another person. That is unconditional acceptance. And, indeed, in terms of Christian love, that other person for whom we are placing ourselves on the line might be a member of the family, might be a friend, might be an acquaintance, but maybe it might even someone we do not know. (Slight pause.)
So, relationships are key. And what are relationships about? Are we willing to put ourselves, our own being, on the line? That’s what they’re about.
Is that hard to do? Of course it is hard to do. If it was not hard to do, there would be no wars, no hunger, no poverty. Wars, hunger, poverty— these come about because of broken relationships— noting more, nothing less.
So, do we want a world in which there is no war, no hunger, no poverty? We need to put ourselves on the line, daily, not for any causes. Put yourself on the line for a cause— that’s yet one step away from a relationship.
We need to put ourselves on the line, daily, to build more relationships, to build better relationships. Building relationships— that’s what Paul did. No? Amen.
09/05/2010
United Church of Christ, First Congregational, Norwich, New York
ENDPIECE: It is the practice of the Pastor to speak after the Closing Hymn, but before the Benediction. This, then, is an précis of what the pastor said before the blessing: “The Pulitzer Prize winning author, Chris Hedges, will be here speaking in this space on September 26th at 3:00 p.m. And, yes, it will be hard to walk up to a friend and invite that friend to come to this event. Why? It means putting yourself on the line. It means challenging yourself about relationships.”
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